Five Things Your Choir Director Doesn’t Want You To Know!

Number 2 will change your sound forever!

Choir directors, like nearly all musicians, suffer from perpetual job insecurity. They know full well that choral music programs in public schools are being cut every day, churches are dropping choirs in favor of praise bands and music listeners are wandering away from live music in search of the perfect curated playlist…whatever that is. As a result, they’re trying to lock in the demand for directors by making sure that you’re incapable of doing things for yourself. After all, if they have to keep reminding you of stuff, you’re going to need a director up there on that podium forever. It’s insidious.

Here are five things you could be doing for yourself that they would much rather remind you of constantly:

1. You could read ahead in your score so that you’re prepared for whatever is coming! Whether it’s a change in dynamics, an alteration of the tempo, an accent, or any number of other things that a composer might throw into the mix, your focus on the current measure (or, better yet, the current note) is vital to a conductor’s role as a constant nag. If you started looking forward routinely and getting ready, without the incessant reminders, conductors all across the country would find themselves with much less to do. Not good.

2. You could sing with nice clear vowels that easily match and blend with the singers around you! This is one of the big secrets that choral directors like to hide from their singers. They know that once you start doing this automatically, every time you open your mouth, a huge part of their job as a scolding harpy would simply disappear! There go the cushy benefits of their glamorous jobs.

3. You could mentally count the rhythms in your music! This is huge. With a clear idea of which beat or even which part of the beat you’re actually on, clean and precise entrances and cutoffs become a breeze and directors everywhere will suddenly be staring at cutbacks and layoffs. This one really scares them!

4. You could shape phrases musically! Directors absolutely thrive on grousing about the way you sing all the notes in a phrase as if they all had equal importance. They desperately need to fill up rehearsal time with repeated explanations about where phrases need emphasis and where to pull back slightly. They understand all too well that if you were to start taking responsibility for singing musically, their positions would be in real danger. Don’t be taken in by this one!

5. You could actually watch the director! Yup. If you had your eyes mostly on the director rather than buried in your music, lots of these and other issues could be dealt with through conducting gestures! Studies have shown that the reduction in time spent on whining about the same problems over and over would render many directors almost superfluous. Heads would roll! Choral directors everywhere would be forced to sell their luxury SUVs and second homes and live off their investments. 

As you can see, conductors have every reason to keep you ignorant of these five simple practices which could dramatically cut your need for constant hand-holding, relentless repetitions of the same instructions, and much more. They don’t want you to even think about these things, let alone give them an actual trial. Now that the lid has been blown off their nefarious plotting, how will you respond?

Click here to see notices of all new blog posts (and more) by joining my email newsletter list!